Progression... Not Perfection

Heard this on Friday afternoon and every day since Ive repeated it to myself a few times a day ... PROGRESSION... NOT PERFECTION
It felt profound hearing it but it makes so much sense. It's applicable to anything in your life - weight loss, transitioning in a new job, spiritual walk... the list goes on and on.

 I'll touch on Weightloss for now... So we are all (mostly) here to improve our lifestyle.  Whether it's more exercise, or less calories we have something we are trying to improve in order to achieve our goal(s).  Every step in our journey brings us closer to our goal - including the slip ups.

One of my friends defined success as "a bunch of small good decisions made over time". Our weightloss journey is very similar. Every day that we follow our program puts us that much closer to the results we are looking for. When we read the blogs and forum posts about 100 pounds down in a year! We all get excited and we all (most of us) want to read how the person did it - and immediately calculate the average monthly/weekly loss to determine if we could have similar results.  Yeah dont' pretend you've never done it :) We all have, some more than others. ... Back to the point... so when we read those stories we should really read the underlying story that over 12 months they kept with a program. On day one, did the successor KNOW they'd be 100 pounds lighter and enjoying their new life? Maybe, maybe not, but for 52 weeks/ 365 days they made small good decisions... Those small decisions made routinely (progression) ... resulted in their success.

 It wasnt about being perfect every day, but consistently mindful of the goal at hand...
Here's to progression, not perfection!

C25K

Back in May-ish, I began the c25k (couch to 5k) running app again. This time I did more research, got fitted for Summa friendly running shoes and took my time.

One week before my birthday I completed the app and was able to run, or more like jog 30 mins consecutively. It was an amazing feeling. Running on the treadmill is no shit ton of fun, however during my trip to Ft Lauderdale I did try running outside on an "offical running trail" and while it felt harder, it certainly felt more fulfilling. That was nice. LOL and I felt like a quasi athlete.

Fast forward to this past week. Monday was Labor day, had to work, didnt work out - ate shit and felt like committing myself (as usual). Tuesday, got back OP with Jenny and working out. Figured it's back to school time may as well take full advantage of what my mind has processed as start over season.... So jogged probably 2 miles I think in 32 minutes. Wednesday I decided to try for 2.5 miles and while I felt like I was tortruing myself I did it...

Here come's Thursday, not sure what billy bad ass-ness took over me but I managed to push to 3 miles and a little harder push to get to 3.1 miles- I was drenched in sweat and loving every minute of it. My HRM confirmed 700 calories burned. You know I was like a pig in shit, right? I wanted to scream it from the rooftop. Big girl meets unexpected goal early. LOL..

In all seriousness it was an incredible feeling. Over the past few weeks Ive been commenting on my jogging habit and recall initially hating it - rolling my eyes at the treadmill, lamenting on how boring running was and how much better and more calories I burned on teh elliptical ( back when I was dumb enouh to trust the machine's count)..,

Can comfortably say I am beginnign to grow fond of running. Two reasons and one of them is a cheat and will give away exactly why I can't be classified as a serious runner.. at least not now --- I can catch up on my 'fat chick lit'.... and loving every minute of it. I listen to Pandora on my droid and read books on my kindle. Tried reading on the phone but the device is way too small and becomes difficult to keep keep up no matter how large the font. Second feeling, is with limited work out time I feel compelled to do  the best I can get in a good burn... Something to be said about getting back into weight tracking..back to that shortly.

I like the feeling of accomplishment when Im done, but know now I need to work on speed. If I can increase my speed I can certainly reach my goal faster-- AND possibly burn more calories.. or cover more ground in the same time I currently spend in the fitness center AND burn more calories. You can feel the focus, right?

I feel good about this. Thinking of registering for a race on 10/20.. While I still think thats far away, Im 'scared' to get in over my head.... Seriously, its a race and your not really competitive so how much drama could it really be. Dunno, might see if I can find something sooner, to try my hand at.

So ive been up since about 2am on Saturday morning. Hit the bed pretty early. Im guessing well before 9pm and know by noon I'LL CRASH and need a loong nap.

More updates --

So since joining my new job (which will remain nameless for now) Ive gone through tons more weight loss efforts (failed miserably) and then finally was coerced into going back to JC, which honestly I think is my best bet ... for now at least.

Prepared foods and minimal cooking. Takes the sterss out of meal planning which was all but driving me crazy and now I'm better able to budget around what it costs me for food/supplements. Ive only lost 6 pounds in a 5 weeks, but on average thats not terrible, but I KNOW I can do better. The past four months the only thing that has been consistent is my new fitness regime. Every week day for the most part== no excuses. Proud of myself for that. Looking forward to settling into the program and allowing it to work and catch up with my fitness efforts.

Hmmm. Also focusing more on being more forgiving of myself and patting myself on the back a bit more. 150 days diet soda free feels like a huge accomplishment, though clearly it has nothign to do with weightloss. Plus, not so many breakouts in my face and not quite as addicted to sugar as I once was.

Last decision.Take things in stride and slow my pace. There was a pace slowing post earlier when I first began blogging, but typical Summa - lost sight of that. Now with this program, Ive decided I've  officialy established an exercise habit, now need to establish an eating habit  - if its nto OP I need ot err on the side of caution and just because others are endulging doesn't mean you have to. That least one sometimes much easier said than done.

I had 10 person training sessions which proved helpful, didnt see much differency in my physique, but 10 30 min session really isnt that much time to begin with, bought "New Rules of Lifting" for women few weeks back, read most of it and think it definitely is 'the truth" but thinking I will give myself through September to settle into my exercise (jogging) and eating OP (on program). Come October will pull back in strength training. Trying to do everything at once becomes overwhelming for me very quickly and I just fail and quit everything.

Havent felt much of a difference in the way most of my clothes, fit but I know when it starts Ill be uber excited. For now, just taking it easy and trying to enjoy the journey. I have to and am ready to own that I let myself get extremely carried away and as inviting as 2 pounds a week every weeks sounds ... not as easy to pull off as I want to believe. For  now slow and steady is the mantra I am trying to maintain.

Umm what else, see now the danger in waiting too long to post - everything is mush and doesnt feel as epic as when it happened. All good. Forgive it and move on.

Catch All...

Despite how it seems, I havent entirely abandoned this blog attempt.. I have been posting and sharing via myfitnesspal.com.

Ideally the goal would be to copy/paste to this site as well but I often forget and since I havent established an official format or blogging schedule.. I just post what i Think is relevant.. tho thinking a/b this it'd be great to capture all of my ramblings in one place.

Kind lazy to copy and paste right now but who knows may surprise myself with this.

Self Fulfilling Prophecy

A wise person once said (and I think Im wise, so I am repeating it :" The way you see yourself is a self -fulfilling prophecy."

 As  frequent dieters ( I use the term loosely), some of us have a way of seeing ourselves as what we were ... not who we are becoming or even who we are.. If we are here, we are people who acknowledge there are improvements we can or should make in our lives as early as NOW.We are people who have at some point abused food or misabused our bodies by lack of nutritious foods, physical activity, etc.

While some of us still are having a lot to lose and have the challenge of carrying it around daily, there is no reason to bow our heads in shame when we enter a room or try to make ourselves shrink in the company of "smaller" people because we are FIGHTING. we are trying. Whether a perfect stranger knows or not, WE KNOW our daily struggle, we know our obstacles and more importantly we know our victories. Here, we speak freely of our weight while someof our nearest and dearest friends and families dare not peek while we are weighing (speaking from experience here... Id CUT my husband before I let him know my weight voluntarily)... partly kidding.... Anyway this is a safe place for us so we should begin to pratice our confidence in our haven and transfer it to our daily living.

A few weeks ago my younger sister came to visit and I must have been on my usual rant and said something along the lines of "my life will begin when I lose weight". She called me on it this past Saturday and while I don't recall saying it (To her) per se, its in my repertoire  ... the fact that she remembered it and brought it up made me realize that is NOT the way to go. Despite her being in her twenties I still think of myself as her role model and if she said something crazy like I wont start living untilI finish school (shes battled weight but manages to drop it in record time every time) Id tell her she was NUTS! I TOO am guilty of being an extremist.

Am I oozing self confidence - no, not yet but I do feel a bit more swagger in my step and a little taller stance as I get dressed in the fitness center. My thighs still jiggle and I wont be wearing shorts anytime soon, but I feel good about my progress The weight is coming off in ounces, but Im grateful for the progress. Im  happy to know that IM not starving myself or taking diet pills (ive been tempted in the past 4 weeks) but IM getting there.  NOt just me, you're getting there too.. IFyou are going through a challenging time and asking yourself Y you arent making progress, ask yourself what am I really working towards, we can ALL make it, we just need to tell ourselves that.
No more berating, no more harsh words, no more fat jokes (about ourselves). Let's love ourselves and be kinder and more supportive of our own efforts.
Challenge yourself to start each day with a kind word about yourelf. I am beautiful. I am strong, I am a conqueror!

Low carb...and (trying to) Luv it!

So I'm back to the very beginning. Haven't posted in a few months due to well....life ... When life hits me unfortunately safe to say I gain weight. It's a cycle I'm fully aware of and still don't quite have under control.

Over the past few weeks since ive been MIA ive tried various plans and nothing is sticking rather I haven't stuck it out. The latest decision to low carb was based on my favorite salad dressing from my all time favorite Greek restaurant. Bizarre way to make a decision right, well its completely high in fat and low in carbs and makes Caesar salads way more enticing than they've ever been ... To me ! So I'm good for lunch but breakfast is still a challenge bc well I'm not an egg kinda gal AND I'm sooo over atkins shakes. Maybe in a few weeks I can get back into them but between those and Greek yogurt I'm weary thinking of both.

Despite my lack of love for eggs I did have the best broccoli quiche pretty recently but it had a crust and I'm sure that's what helped me get past the eggs.. and we all know the crust is a no no for low carbers in induction or early phases... Im trying to find a few creative recipes that I want to try out ..like tuna / salmon muffins for breakfast.

Apologies for the melancholy tone. I'm beyond disappointed my fat clothes are back in rotation and my cute slimmer girl attire is looking at me with hopeful eyes. When does thus ridiculous cycle end?

I've been recently diagnosed as "sleep deprived" which means my priority is to get more sleep. I've never taken a diagnosis so seriously before. While I might say I am enjoying sleeping in and napping more, It hasn't reduced the impact of my appetite. In fact Im eating more than I ever have...maybe not ever" but more than I know is appropriate and healthy for me. How was I living on 1300 calories a few months ago and surviving and suddenly I can't get through a day without at least 1000 calories in excess of what I'm supposed to consume ? Okokokok I see why I went MIA bc I knew my posts would sound more like a pity party than a road to recovery. Is it possible that I'm not ready to be helped which is why I can't seem to help myself ? Or am I stuck in brattville looking for a miracle ? I'd love to be the person to run myself out of this rut but the thought of running still feels daunting despite my 1800 attempts to have it become "my thing". How do people find their physical activity that pulls them out of their fat funk? I love ZUMBA and have the dvds and Wii but that doesn't seem to feel like enuff. It's not my "go to" thing. Why is that ? I always feel better afterwards and I KNOW its a huge calorie burner. Can I ZUMBA my way to fat freedom ? Dunno Chuckling did I just challenge myself to try ? Is this going to be another psyche up to do it now ? Y'all may not know but I'm far from competitive and the minute competition enters I make a graceful exit. It's not my thing. Never has been at least not with physical activity.. academia ... Slightly different story.... I'll ponder this and let you know how things go. duag