Sorry, meant to check back in after the last post but it seemed all my devices were dead as I quarantined myself to the basement/mancave to avoid the kitchen. I didn't think it was avoidance until this morning when I had to stop in and realized I hadn't opened my refrigerator since Tuesday. Think I broke my own record - especially since I had been home all week so to speak....
Alright so the not being hungry thing is a beast - but now I can speak to head hunger -- so I was watching tv most of what Ive done during the day and realize that yes, I am not hungry but there is a food commercial and my mouth is watering - not for real, but I think I want it. Don't think I've ever seen 'honey nut cheerios" commercial so much ever. Whew! These advertisers really know how to get us. Granted Ive never dropped everything for that - normally Sonic and Red Lobster would catch my attention sooner, but it's the point of how powerful our minds are even when we know better.
So, just to give you a glimpse of how serious head hunger is. Mom was over most of the day she and hubbs had been doing a really great job of not eating in front of me.. but I told them it was fine. She had chinese delivery and I guess put the leftovers in the fridge. On the way home she forgot the bag on the dining room floor and called to let me know so one of us (hubbs or me) could put it away for her. When she called I was asleep and heard her clearly. Hung up the phone and got closed my eyes and thought maybe I can go upstairs and just... wait for it... Lick the gravy off one piece of broccoli toss it and put the rest in the fridge. Please understand that I was barely awake... How the hell did I come up on with that in such a short span of time.. Well good news is I told myself that was ridiculous not to mention gross, rolled over and went back to sleep.
I thought that went well, but I had to chuckle at how quickly 'the cheating mentality' snuck in there. I am really trying to take full advantage of NOT feeling hungry. I was the person who woke up already planning to skip breakfast so I can go 'hard" on lunch on the weekend. To have nursed one 18.5 oz bottle of Pure Leaf diet peach tea over 16 hours and still have some left and not be starving or cranky is beyond unfathomable.
Sleeping. Feels good but gets uncomfortable when the gas bubble begins to travel. Also doesnt help that I haven't slept in my bed in a few days. Not proper sleeping hygiene. Tonight I will be back in bed and enjoy the slumber of my plush kingsize.
Activity.Walked for about 30 minutes yesterday outside. Felt good - Im slow but feels good on the limbs and lungs. Opted out of taking any pain meds yesterday but did take the ulcer preventing meds. Hoping today to be more productive - fold and put away some laundry and even clean/re-organize my desk. It looks crazy.
Challenges/Concerns. Going back to work - Im scared of that. Havent told anyone but manager about surgery and we have a basket filled with gum and random treats/snacks - girl scout cookies pretzels, candy whatever and its near my desk. Thats been the central location sinceI joined the team so Id be rude to move it. On the other hand most days I start out avoiding it but then work gets stressful or frustrating and I find myself having an out of body experience where I'm in there and partaking. Not being hungry helps but I clearly will have to fight a little harder to avoid the emotional eating. Ahh, then there is the conference Im scheduled to attend May 29-31 in NYC. Great networking opprtunity but includes continental breakfast and a huge lunch. My co-worker and I are planning to attend together so I am hoping to fill up the evenings with sight seeing type stuff and less food/drink. Thinking ahead of calling the hotel and requesting a room with a fridge so I can bring shakes with me. If there isnt a fridge Im, sure I cam buy shakes on consumption locally at GNC and Vitamim Shop, but Id rather not go that route.
Sharing/Disclosure. Right now my intention is not to share surgery wirh anyone outside of the handful of people that already know. The new diet will be explained by having had ulcer surgery and doctor putting me on a strict diet to help with the healing.. As time progresses I'll explain that I liked the effects of the diet and have opted to work with a nutritionist and begin exercising more.
Support. Thank goodness for my neighbors, Mom and my the May 2013 Sleevers private facebook page. They have all been a tremendous source of support and I couldn't be more appreciative. Something about sharing with those who are in a similar situation totally takes the edge off defending your decision and or explaining why certain things are challenging.
What is the plan for today? Id love to get to the mall and run some errands- get my eyebrows done - admin crap like that return somethings to JCP that I anticipate will be TOO big for me in upcoming weeks and just spend some time enjoying the beautiful weather while I recuperate. Maybe even put on some make up and try looking like the old almost new me again. Have I mentioned that being on clear liquids only diet is really good for your skin :)
How are you doing ? Coping ? Feeling? I'd love to hear ...
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