Face the Music

Hey friends! Happy Thanksgiving eve. So I got squeezed in with my surgeon in NY  for an ACCURATE read on my weight. Officially up 30 pounds from my last visit Apr 2016.  We spoke about my options - my sleeve has stretched but mostly from air (soda, beer , carbonation etc). I am disappointed and had even called a bunch of surgeons in mexico to get more  work done - Not convinced I wont and im a blabber mouth enough to have asked my PA (love her) about it - and she was honest. She said its not done in our office (blabber mouth didnt mention medical tourism) but you could talk to the doc regarding re-sleeving though it will be $$ (i already called my insurance - they dont cover re-visions).

Anyway i asked her honestly what can I do- she said honestly now u HAVE TO put in work. I kinda knew that answer already & may have rolled my eyes ha.  But she’s right- and its less about speed and ease as much as its life. As I / we will know it. Annoyed yes - frustrated sorta- shocked? Not even close. She asked me to close my eyes and think back to how and what made me push so hard . Eyes popped open & I declared every day i weighed leas than yesterday. Theres no better motivation than that. 

She said true, but thats not reality or sustainable. So everyday that ur on the right track and logging/journaling & moving should be something to celebrate bc you are in control. She also said it took a while for ur poor eating habits to catch up with you and you should reasonably expect a delay in seeing the effects of  good habits on the scale. 

That said. We did a barium exam - and my sleeve isnt out of control back to basics will allow it to get back to a leaner/tighter  sleeve and ultimately a leaner tighter summa.

Am I convinced I can do it? In my heart of hearts if i busted my ass - yes! Do I want to? Most days - do I want to ? No, I’m tired of fighting this same fight but it seems this is my lot to bear in this lifetime, and I need to be ok with either fighting the good fight or throwing in the towel once and for all. Will I ever be out of this weight game? Probably not.

What’s next on the agenda for me? The usual 

•Incorporating physical activity

•Healthy/mindful eating 

•Consistency

I need help with MOTIVATION. I am naturally motivated by metrics.

Changes in the scale & the the way my clothes fit.

My struggle - enjoying/engaging physical activity